The things I never tell...

Dear Single Mama,

Today was a hard day. No one asked me how it went. Work was hard and my head was spinning by the time I had finished. I felt overwhelmed by the kids. My mind hadn’t had time to rest and my brain still ached as I stepped through the door. The responsibility piled on and I didn’t have a moment to breath. There was no one to tell and no one to ask.

The kids needed feeding and attention. The house needed cleaning. There were a million things to do and no one to offload to.

It felt lonely. I was very much aware of how alone in this I am. So I did what I always do. I fed the kids and gave them my attention. I cleaned the house. Not as much as I would like (obviously). I berated myself for not cleaning enough. I navigated the fog in my head and by the time the kids were asleep I scrolled through my phone and stared at the TV mindlessly trying to empty my head of the relentless thoughts, the never-ending worry and stress.

My head hit the pillow and I told no one because there was no one to tell and no one to ask. Maybe I will tell a friend next time we speak but probably not. I won’t complain. What’s the point?

Hopefully tomorrow will be less stressful. Either way, I won’t tell anyone. Nobody will know. As long as the kids are fed, taken care of and the house is clean (kind of). No one has to know.